barbara walters just said penis...
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
