is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
