): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
