Hey man sorry I got all grabby
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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