I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
