You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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