I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize