Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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