God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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