I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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