we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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