I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
