Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
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Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
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We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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