why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.