Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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