new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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