When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
