If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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