DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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