at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
