i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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