I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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