marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day