Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I faked an abortion last night.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck