She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.