Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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