Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I am full of burrito and curiosity
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
