my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
