I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
