Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
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