Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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