theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
