Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
