i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize