Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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