please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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