can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
