Well douche your snatch and let's go!
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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