Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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