The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Randomize
