Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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