I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
