Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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