Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Randomize
