...so i touched it.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
