How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I need to sanitize my soul.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
