3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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