We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
