I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
