I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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