Can i not drive my cunt home
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
