I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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