Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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