Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
