Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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