Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
