I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
