He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize