Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
