Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Buhtt sex?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
