All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize