I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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