My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize